Three keys to living a life of Ihsan (cont.)
Key 3: Pardon and forgive- Understanding God’s forgiveness
- Ghaffar- He who forgives the quantity of sins.
- Ghafoor- He who forgives the quality of sins.
- Al-'Afuw- He who removes the ill effects of sins.
These are the same qualities that one must apply in their relationships with others.
Types of forgiveness:
- Situational forgiveness- when one moves on from a situation that causes them turmoil.
- Dispositional forgiveness- pardon, forgive and overlook others for their shortcomings.
Motivation for change- inspiration from the Quran and Hadith:
- Continuously remind oneself that forgiving others gives access to His mercy.
- To attain God’s forgiveness one must forgive his fellow human beings.
- Assume that everyone has at least as good intentions as oneself.
- Psychologists and ulema both explain that forgiveness is an inner freedom.
- God transforms bad deeds into good deeds- forgive and promote if someone admits a mistake.
- A momin is obsessed with his own shortcomings, not with those of others.
Difference between anger and resentment:
- Anger: is a quick emotion. It is a fire that goes out quite quickly.
- Resentment: a persistent feeling of upset towards a situation. It’s similar to hot burning coals that continue to smoulder long after.
What we hold on to costs us emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Barriers to forgiveness:
- Not recognizing the cost to one’s well-being.
- Fear of condoning hurtful behaviour.
- Belief that “they should pay for it.”
- Lack of skills in coping with anger.
What is forgiveness?
- Forgiveness does not mean condoning another’s behaviour.
- It’s a change in feelings and attitudes regarding what happened.
- Letting go of negative emotions such as taking revenge.
- There is no desire to make the other person suffer anymore.
- There is an increased ability to wish the other person well.
- Results in spiritual expansion and closer proximity to God.
LINKS:
SURAH YUNUS VERSE 65
SURAH AN-NUR VERSE 22
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