Loving and Living the Quran (Communication)

Using the foundations and principles of mindful communication, in this final lecture of the series Mindful Communication as a Spiritual Practice, 

We will try and understand

  • Our responsibility towards our children
  • Why it is important to be conscious of this responsibility
  • How we can communicate mindfully to parent effectively

When we want our children to do anything, or if they have made a mistake, most of revert to nagging and lecturing and when that does not work, we do more of it!

In this lecture, we discover some other ways of communicating with our children that may be far more effective than nagging and lecturing. These ways of communicating

1) have a better chance of our requests being complied to

2) cause less conflict in the family

3) result in less stress for us as parents.

Do you want to know more? Please listen!

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Direct download: Lecture_11_M2017-Mindful_communication_for_parents_mp3.mp3
Category:Communication -- posted at: 9:07am EST
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In this episode, we use the foundations of Mindful Communication to explore a rather challenging kind of communication: Our responsibility to give feedback Amr bil Maroof and doing amr bil maroof – enjoining good and discouraging evil.

Providing advice by enjoining the good and forbidding the evil is an integral part of Islamic teachings. And yet it is more challenging today than ever, in part because we often do not have a shared value system and also because we are led to believe that minding our own business is a good thing.

In this lecture we try and understand why it is essential to keep each other accountable by giving feedback when appropriate.

We also discuss appropriate ways to give feedback so that it is more likely to be accepted. 

Apologies for the less-than-ideal quality of the audio. Did not realize that there was a fan right behind the microphone!

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Direct download: Lecture_10_M2017-Advising_towards_good_and_discouraging_evil.mp3
Category:Communication -- posted at: 8:21am EST
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In this the ninth lecture in this series, we cover:

  • Understanding anger and triggers
  • Why we need to deal with the triggers
  • Islamic guidance on dealing with anger and expressing it
  • How to communicate mindfully when we need to express upset or anger
Direct download: Lecture_9_M2017_copy.mp3
Category:Communication -- posted at: 12:46pm EST
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The standard of family relationships in Islam is very high. According to the Quran, we are to build a home based on the principles of peace, love and compassion, a safe refuge in a turbulent world. 

In this episode we explore how to communicate mindfully during family conflict, which is often quite challenging. We have within us a love for our family but we also have a history of emotional baggage that we carry around which often blocks communication and triggers into unhelpful reactions. 

We discuss an example of a family conflict and then explore "5 steps to fight better". 

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Direct download: Lecture_8_M2017-podcast_ready.mp3
Category:Communication -- posted at: 12:12pm EST
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As we have been saying, the best and worst of God’s creation is the tongue with which we speak. Words can connect and heal people and can also alienate and harm people. Words often produce powerful, lasting effects on both the speaker and the listener. Whether we are aware of it or not, every word we say has the potential to ease or afflict yourself and others

If we are mindful with our words, they can bring peace and joy to others and ourselves and if we continue to be unconscious of our words, they will have a lasting impact which is not beneficial for us either in this world or in the Hereafter.

In this episode, we explore the meaning of "a good word" an other kinds of words that are mentioned in the Quran. 

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Direct download: Lecture_7_M2017-podcast_ready.mp3
Category:Communication -- posted at: 10:12pm EST
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Continuing our conversation on mindful listening we explore why listening to others is the best thing we can do for their healing and for our relationship with them. 

We also discuss why mindful listening is so challenging and how we can move beyond the challenges to the practice of mindful listening 

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Direct download: Lecture_6_M2017-podcast_ready.mp3
Category:Communication -- posted at: 12:59pm EST
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In this episode we talk about a very important skill in Mindful Communication and that is listening.

Hearing is the physical process of receiving the message and is automatic, unlike listeningMindless listening occurs when we react automatically and routinely, without mental investment, to messages. Mindful listening occurs when careful and thoughtful attention is paid to messages received.

While voicing our opinion or offering advice, especially when these things are asked of us, is a vital part of human communication, there are times when refraining from offering these things and simply deeply listening to someone can be powerful for both speaker and listener.

ML is a skill because very often it does not come naturally. Tt really does need to be learnt and practiced. Almost none of us are naturally good listeners because in a sense we have to get over ourselves, we have to put our own agenda aside for the time being and be fully present for another person. Dialogue takes place between two people not just with tongues and ears but with the hearts and minds – meeting of the minds – pouring your heart out.

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Direct download: Lecture-5-M2017-Done.mp3
Category:Communication -- posted at: 12:51pm EST
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In this session, we continue exploring how emotional reactivity derails communication and what we can do about it.

We discuss how the reptilian parts of our brain hijack our thinking brain so that we end up “flipping our lid”.

We then spend quite some time discussing the concept of compassion and selflessness which show up as public service in the world. By taking on problems bigger than ourselves, we can bring back emotional and mental balance within ourselves and respond from values rather than based on triggers.

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Direct download: Lecture_4_M2017.mp3
Category:Communication -- posted at: 3:52pm EST
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In the third lecture of the series, we talk about two challenges to mindful communication

The first challenge is that of self-love: human beings have their own agenda and this makes it difficult to make room for another view

The second challenge is that of emotional reactivity: we bring emotional baggage and reactivity into conversations with loved ones which hinder our ability to connect with each other.

In order to develop equanimity or emotional balance, we need to cultivate two essential qualities: those of hilm or compassion and ithar or selflessness. This is of course, easier said than done! We talk about practical strategies in managing our emotional reactivity.

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Direct download: Lecture_3_M2017.mp3
Category:Communication -- posted at: 4:54pm EST
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In the second lecture of the series, we discuss

  • What is Mindful communication
  • The difference between MC and Effective Communication and
  • The five foundational attitudes of heart and mind for Mindful Communication.

We also go through an example of communication which goes wrong and see what we could do differently in such situations.

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Direct download: Lec_2_M2017.mp3
Category:Communication -- posted at: 12:03pm EST
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The topic for this year's lectures is Mindful Communication as a Spiritual Practice.

Lecture 1: Introduction: The Ability to Communicate is a Gift of the Creator

In this lecture, we began by reminding ourselves of the role of Azadari in our lives and our intentions and behaviours during the month of Muharram.

We discussed the value of different groups of participants in the Azaa and how each of us can best fulfill our roles.

We then introduced the topic for the year and discussed how the ability to communicate is a gift of the Creator which comes with the responsibility to use it mindfully and for a good purpose.

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Direct download: Lec_1_M2017_Podcast.mp3
Category:Communication -- posted at: 10:57am EST
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