Loving and Living the Quran (Quran Reflection)

Let’s remind ourselves of the principles of healthy discussion and debate from the Quran which we have been exploring over the last few days

  1. Use wisdom and good admonition and dispute with them in a manner that is best [Quran16:125].

  2. Establish common ground Establish common ground 29:46

  3. Use logic and appeal to reason [Quran 36:77-79]

  4. Do not offend [Quran 6:109]

  5. Present a balanced perspective  [Quran 2:219].

  6. Respond with goodness rather than react to evil [Quran 41:34].

 

Direct download: Ep_257_Principles_of_healthy_discussion_16125_audio.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

One of the methods frequently used by the Quran to convince the reader of its arguments is the use of logic and rhetorical questioning. Researchers into Quranic linguists assert that such rhetorical questions are used in more than a thousand verses of the Quran and each use is an invitation for the reader to shift their thinking paradigm. 
Let us remind ourselves that a rhetorical question is one that is asked without expecting or needing an answer but for the sake of emphasis or effect. Linguists say that a rhetorical question is “a forceful statement which has the form of a question but which does not expect an answer.’’ i.e., the rhetorical question has an interrogative structure but does not seek information. The speaker has some purpose in his mind, either to give a command or to make a statement indirectly. 
In the Holy Quran, Allah [swt] uses such questions to 
emphasize a point, 
to show the logic of the argument
and to jolt the reader into reflecting
to help the reader understand the point 
and to convince the reader with the sound logic presented. 
Why use this method of discussion? Scholars explain that the Holy Quran addresses its readers as sentient, articulate and rational human beings. It reminds us that we have been given the faculty of reason and logic. We have the ability to weigh things up, to make considered judgements. We are not asked to follow blindly or to agree to something which does not appeal to our reason. And so, by presenting convincing arguments, we are invited to be utterly convinced, deep down, in our heart and soul, that what is revealed in the Quran is the Truth, and that the truth can stand up to any scrutiny.

Example: One of the frequent challenges that came up for the Holy Prophet [saw] was the belief in resurrection and the hereafter. In the following verses, the Quran uses rhetorical questions to help us reflect and come to logical conclusions:
Has man not seen that We created him from a drop, and behold, he is a manifest adversary?
And he has set forth for Us a parable and forgotten his own creation, saying, "Who revives these bones, decayed as they are?" 
Say, "He will revive them Who brought them forth the first time, and He knows every creation [Quran 36:77-79]

These questions are posed to those who rejected the resurrection and final accounting. Their argument was: how can we be recreated if our bones have already turned to dust? The counter-argument presented through rhetorical questions is that the recreation cannot be harder than the original creation. He who created you in the first place, can He not bring you back? If He could create from nothingness, what can stop Him from recreating from the bones that have turned to dust?
Implementing this verse in our discussions and arguments requires a level of confidence and grounded-ness. 
When we find ourselves in disputed arguments, it is so easy to get emotional and entrenched in our views. Excellent communicators, however, learn how and when to use logic and reason to put their points across. Using such questions is also deeply respectful of your opponent as you are appealing to their innate sense of reason and logic.

Direct download: Ep_253_Appeal_to_reason_and_ask_rhetorical_questions.m4a
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 5:38pm EDT

We have explored this verse from Sura Fussilat from many different aspects. Today’s exploration will be in line with our theme of using verses from the Quran to guide us when we find ourselves in the midst of an argument. 

Despite our best intentions, things can get heated when we are in the midst of a conflict. It is hard to hear things that go against our belief system. It is so easy to take things personally. Others can say things in a way that triggers us and potentially make us lose our emotional balance. 

This verse from Sura Fussilat advices us to not react when others fall short of respectful conduct.

Repel [evil] with what is best. [If you do so,] behold, he between whom and you was enmity, will be as though he were a sympathetic friend [Quran 41:34].

Scholars explain that the absence of a direct object after repel in the above verse means that the verse is open to many meanings and possibilities: we can repel anger with patience, error with truth, ignorance with clemency, and the commission of evil with pardon.

In other words, instead of reacting to people’s behavior out of anger, we can practice responding in a way that is aligned to our own value system.

As this verse explains, when we do this, it gives the other person a chance to calm down, it diffuses the tension and the aggression and allows the conversation to get back on track. A practice of repelling evil [or communication triggers and mistakes] with good [responsive and worthy communication] can lead to reconciliation, love, and (re)connection.

How?

We need to pause enough so that we can remind ourselves of the gifts Allah [swt] has given us in order to repel evil with good. These gifts are the gift of imagination, of self-control, of will power and the gift of conscience. It is only when we use some or all of these gifts that we can respond based on our own values rather than react to poor behaviour on the part of another.

 

Direct download: Ep_256_Respond_rather_than_react4134_audio.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Do not revile those whom they call upon besides Allah, lest they should revile God out of enmity, ignorance. [Quran 6:108]

This verse from Sura Anam cautions believers not to turn to offence and aggression in the midst of an argument, especially on matters of faith. It also provides a solid reason why it is not a good idea to do so: because such behaviour will most likely lead to a retaliation of like for like.

When we are in the midst of an argument, it can be easy to become triggered and angry. If we sense we are losing an argument, we can become aggressive, attacking that which is most sacred to the other in an effort to prove our point, hurt the other or to defend ourselves.

Such tactics never work. Behaviour like this will lead to a tit for tat competition that will only increase anger, bitterness and hostility between the arguing parties.
A verbal assault has the same impact on our physiology that a physical attack does. When human beings are thus attacked, their rational brain goes offline and they regress to their most primitive instincts of fight or flight. When human beings are attacked, they will either attack the other or defend themselves using whatever means they have in their power. Often, they will resort to attacking our most vulnerable areas or our most sacred beliefs.

In other words, once we resort to attacking what is sacred to the other, the outcome of such a conversation or discussion cannot be good. It will leave both parties feeling angry, aggressive and hostile towards the other. 

This verse is a powerful reminder in our personal, spiritual and political lives when we find ourselves in a midst of a dispute. Let us maintain respect for each other and mind our words, using logic and reason rather than hate or aggression to make our points.

As believers, we are expected to show the highest level of decorum and behaviour towards friends and opponents alike. 

This is more true today than ever before when arguments on social media often disintegrate to hateful and offensive comments as people hide behind the screen to say things that they would not have the guts to say to others in person. 

Whether we like it or not, fair or not, reality is that the whole is judged by its part. Every single one of us is an ambassador and those that wish us ill are purposely baiting and triggering us, waiting for us to fail, to slip up. Let us use this verse to remind ourselves not to fall for these traps. 

How can we do this? 

We do not need to engage or respond right away, especially on social media. We can give ourselves the grace of time and gather our thoughts before responding. We can remind ourselves of the larger goal, and that none of this is personal. And we can practice practice practice!

Direct download: Ep_254_Do_not_offend_your_opponent.m4a
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 3:57pm EDT

When we are in the midst of a conflict or a dispute, we tend to focus only on our side of the argument, ignoring or rejecting what merit or truth may be found on the other side.

 

 

And when we do this, the other side gets more focused on proving us wrong and highlighting their arguments. 

 

 

Discussions and arguments like these seldom if ever, result in a deeper understanding. And they almost never result in any one side giving in to the other. 

 

The Quran teaches us another way:

 

they ask you about wine and gambling. Say,“There is a great sin in both of them, and some benefits for the people, but their sinfulness outweighs their benefit” [Quran 2:219].

 

This is such an interesting verse and one from which we can learn a lot.

 

 

Although the Quran is unequivocal in its discouragement of using intoxicants and gambling, it acknowledges that there is some merit and attraction in them.

 

 

To someone who is inclined towards intoxicants and/or gambling, they are engaging in these because they find some attraction or benefit in them. If we are too focused on telling them all the reasons why these are evil and not allowed, their experience is that we do not understand them and why they are so inclined. Once we accept that their inclinations make sense given the attraction, they feel validated and are much more likely to hear opposing arguments out. 

 

This is such a beautiful example of how we can acknowledge and validate another point of view while we present our arguments and reasoning. When we are able to acknowledge and validate another’s point of view, we do these four things:

 

1)   Convey that we are balanced and open minded

2)   Convey empathy and understanding for their point of view

3)   Convey that we are brave and fair enough to look at all sides of an issue, even those that go against our point of view

4)   Look for common ground

Such a posture when we are in conflict does a lot to dissolve resistance and greatly enhances the other’s ability to listen to our point of view and to consider it.

 

This verse is particularly useful for parents who are attempting to discourage their children from using substances or engaging in risky behaviour. If we acknowledge the positive aspects of substances and convey that we understand the attraction, they are so much more likely to pay attention to what we have to say.

 

Direct download: Present_a_balanced_perspective_audio_2219.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 11:31am EDT

Continuing with our series on inspiration from the Holy Quran for engaging in discussion and dispute, the verse today is from Sura Ankabut where Allah (swt) says: 

 

And dispute not with the People of the Book, save in the most virtuous manner, unless it be those of them who have done wrong. And say, “We believe in that which was sent down unto us and was sent down unto you; our God and your God are one, and unto Him are we submitters.” [Holy Quran 29:46]

 

This verse is an injunction to the Prophet and Muslims to not argue with Jews and Christians, except in a beautiful manner that calls them through God’s signs and draws evidence from God’s proofs or in a manner that invites them to good, as in the verse we discussed yesterday [16:125: Call unto the way of thy Lord with wisdom and goodly exhortation. And dispute with them in the most virtuous manner] which taught us that even if others speak poorly, Muslims should still speak well. 

 

Today’s verse from Sura Ankabut adds another principle for debate and dispute: establish common ground by reminding the other side of what you share in common. In this verse, the Holy Prophet [saw] is asked to remind them that he believes in their revelation and that they both share a common deity of worship. 

 

Muslims are ordered to declare the fundamental similarities between the revelations sent to them and those sent to previous religious communities, as in 2:136: Say, “We believe in God, and in that which was sent down to us, and in that which was sent down to Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the Tribes, and in what Moses and Jesus were given, and in what the prophets were given from their Lord. We make no distinction among any of them, and unto Him we submit” (cf. 3:84). 

 

In a world that is focused on differences between people, in what makes one superior over another and the divides therein, this verse establishes a very important principle of communicating with those we disagree with: instead of focusing on what separates us, establish a common ground that you can agree on. 

 

A study of psychology reveals why this is such an important and effective way to communicate. 

We all come from different backgrounds and as a result, we see things differently and hold different beliefs.

But this doesn’t mean it’s impossible to agree, or at least be amicable and respectful. By finding common ground, we can see eye-to-eye with someone else for a moment. It then becomes easier to see eye-to-eye on other topics you previously didn’t agree on at all. 

When we focus on differences, the other is likely to become defensive and much more stubborn in their position. Pointing out what you have in common and can agree on, validates them, puts them at ease and makes it more likely that they may listen to your point of view. 

 

Of course, this does not mean that we will always convince the other person of our point of view. When people realize that there are at least some areas of agreement, it builds trust and both can walk away feeling less diametrically opposed. And it is more likely that you can work together toward common goals.

Reflection: 

When was the last time you were in disagreement with someone about a matter or belief or value? Did you walk away with a deeper understanding or a feeling of further distance and dissatisfaction? 

 

Implementation:

Next time you find yourself in disagreement, remember this verse and try establishing common ground, some area of agreement. This is not as hard as it sounds. We can often disagree about details but agree on the bigger picture. For example, as Muslims, we can all agree about the importance of the Holy Prophet [saw] and emulating his way of life, even if we disagree on the details of what that looks like. 

 

Communication experts recommend the following to foster communication between people on opposing sides of an issue:

  1. Know your subject and why you believe what you do. When we are not sure of why we belief what we do, we are more likely to get defensive.

  2. Try to see it from their perspective. Seeing from another perspective does not mean that we give up our beliefs. It does mean that we build bridges of mutual respect and understanding. When we can present the other person’s argument to them, it immediately builds trust and respect because they know we get it, even if we do not agree. 

  3. Seeing from another perspective begins by listening and asking questions to deepen our understanding. Not only does this foster greater understanding, it also allows people to reflect on their own beliefs and biases.

  4. Be aware of your own biases and maybe even announce them. We are all products of our environment and upbringing and this impacts how we think and what we belief. We can be humble about this without changing our beliefs if they are working for us.

  5. Keep the issue under discussion separate from the person who is arguing it. This means we never ever attack another human being’s character or personality. Doing do will only ensure that they do the same and will block out your arguments. 

 

  1. Appeal to reason and ask [rhetorical] questions [36:77-79]

One of the methods frequently used by the Quran to convince the reader of its arguments is the use of logic and rhetorical questioning. Researchers into Quranic linguists assert that such rhetorical questions are used in more than a thousand verses of the Quran and each use is an invitation for the reader to shift their thinking paradigm. 

Let us remind ourselves that a rhetorical question is one that is asked without expecting or needing an answer but for the sake of emphasis or effect. Linguists say that a rhetorical question is “a forceful statement which has the form of a question but which does not expect an answer.’’ i.e., the rhetorical question has an interrogative structure but does not seek information. The speaker has some purpose in his mind, either to give a command or to make a statement indirectly. 

In the Holy Quran, Allah [swt] uses such questions to 

emphasize a point, 

to show the logic of the argument

and to jolt the reader into reflecting

to help the reader understand the point 

and to convince the reader with the sound logic presented. 

Why use this method of discussion? Scholars explain that the Holy Quran addresses its readers as sentient, articulate and rational human beings. It reminds us that we have been given the faculty of reason and logic. We have the ability to weigh things up, to make considered judgements. We are not asked to follow blindly or to agree to something which does not appeal to our reason. And so, by presenting convincing arguments, we are invited to be utterly convinced, deep down, in our heart and soul, that what is revealed in the Quran is the Truth, and that the truth can stand up to any scrutiny.

Example: One of the frequent challenges that came up for the Holy Prophet [saw] was the belief in resurrection and the hereafter. In the following verses, the Quran uses rhetorical questions to help us reflect and come to logical conclusions:

Has man not seen that We created him from a drop, and behold, he is a manifest adversary?
And he has set forth for Us a parable and forgotten his own creation, saying, "Who revives these bones, decayed as they are?" 
Say, "He will revive them Who brought them forth the first time, and He knows every creation [Quran 36:77-79]

These questions are posed to those who rejected the resurrection and final accounting. Their argument was: how can we be recreated if our bones have already turned to dust? The counter-argument presented through rhetorical questions is that the recreation cannot be harder than the original creation. He who created you in the first place, can He not bring you back? If He could create from nothingness, what can stop Him from recreating from the bones that have turned to dust?

Implementing this verse in our discussions and arguments requires a level of confidence and grounded-ness. 

When we find ourselves in disputed arguments, it is so easy to get emotional and entrenched in our views. Excellent communicators, however, learn how and when to use logic and reason to put their points across. Using such questions is also deeply respectful of your opponent as you are appealing to their innate sense of reason and logic.

 

Direct download: Episode_252_Establish_common_ground.m4a
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 9:20am EDT

Today we start a series on verses from the Quran that guide us how to discuss, debate and disagree with people.  

In the following verse from Sura Nahl, Allah says: 

Call unto the way of your Lord with wisdom and goodly exhortation. And dispute with them in them in a manner that is best [16:125]

 

4 commands are given to the Holy Prophet [as] in this verse. 

 

  1. “(O’ Prophet!) call (mankind)…”

  2. “…to the path of your Lord…”

  3. “…with wisdom and good admonition…”

  4. “…and dispute with them in a manner that is best…”

 

Scholars explain that “To call . . . with wisdom” may mean 

  1. That the one inviting towards God should use knowledge, reason, and understanding to attract people towards God. He should appeal to the natural instinct and the intellect of human beings. People are more likely to respond to arguments which are rational and logical. 

Hazrat Luqmān (as) when advising his son, said: My son, learn wisdom and you will become noble, for verily wisdom directs towards religion 

  1. that people should call others to religion on the basis of the revelation that has come to them, that is by using the verses of the Quran 

  2. Or with firm and truthful words, avoiding obscure language or jargon 

  3. The term beautiful or wise exhortation/admonition can be understood to refer to the beautiful expressions that constitute the arguments, proofs, and reminders found in scripture

  4. Admonition that is done with good intention and for the benefit of people being advised as this shows concern for them

  5. It is advice which is offered in a gentle manner, in a manner that would soften hearts, that is, with gentle persuasion and reasonable commands

 

Good advice, admonition



The second part of the verse deals with the situation that when people are called, they will naturally present their own arguments. And so, how should he respond?

 

To dispute with them in the best way

 

  1. one should dispute in matters of religious difference by using logical argumentation based upon sound and mutually agreed-upon principles

  2. It should be done with sincerity, fairness, gentleness and should preserve the dignity of the other person

  3. Without harassment, rudeness, or harshness

  4. It should be free from condemnation and mockery, and not overstated

 

Reflection:

This verse entails a positive command to action. Invite others towards God. Speak about righteousness and universal values. Invite through example and speech. And when presented with counter arguments, dispute in a gentle and fair manner. 

Implementation:

This verse teaches us how to communicate our values and beliefs to others and also how to respond when others do not agree. 

Reality is that in relationships and in life, we may find ourselves on opposing sides of an issue. Very often, when this happens, we may get triggered and react in a an aggressive and unhelpful way. 

 

This verse reminds us how to engage in communication when there is clearly a difference of opinion or values.

 

Firstly, such conversation needs to be done with the right intention. We can speak up for what we believe, defend our truth, remove doubts and misconceptions, but we must always do with respect and compassion. When we dispute or argue in this way, we are not defending our own power of status. We come from a place of respect, love and compassion, intending good for all concerned.

 

Secondly, wisdom and good advice means that we keep in mind what might be in it for the other person. Why should they listen to us? What is in it for them?

 

This verse is such a valuable reminder, especially in current times when people are more polarized and divided than ever. By being guided by wisdom and respect in our communication we have the best chance of being heard, influencing others or making a difference. 

 

For the next few days, let us explore the elements of a good discussion or argument. 

 

Direct download: Ep_251_How_to_debate_and_dispute_16_125.m4a
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 9:13am EDT

In the final session on Sura Saba, we discuss accountability and summarize the message of the Sura

Direct download: Sura_Saba_v_51_-_54.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 9:10pm EDT

In these verses, Allah swt is asking us to awake our consciousness through contemplation. The HP (saw) is asked to present rational and logical arguments to the people to invite them towards faith

Direct download: Sura_Saba_v__45_-_v_50.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 9:07pm EDT

Sura Saba v 40 - 45

In this episode we talk about the arguments used by the Quraish to disbelive in the message of the Quran 

Direct download: Sura_Saba_v_40_-_45_.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 4:31pm EDT

Continuing our study of Chapter 34, Sura Saba. In this episode, we discuss how arrogance, power and materialism caused the Meccans to disbelieve in the message of the Quran

Direct download: Sura_Saba_v_31_-_39.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 12:17am EDT

The last section of Sura Fatir 

Direct download: Sura_Fatir_part_3_-_v_30_-45_edited.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 10:21pm EDT

We explore the strenghts and means we have in resisting the Shaytan

Direct download: Resisting_the_Whisperings_of_Shaytan_part_2.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 12:38pm EDT

Reflections on Sura Qadr and Laylatul Qadr
Direct download: Reflections_on_Sura_Qadr_and_Laylatul_Qadr.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 11:54pm EDT

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