Dealing with challenging relationships whilst practicing Ihsan.
Reference to Surah Ar-Rad, Verse 21-24- talking about the Ulul Albab- Men of Understanding.
- Characteristics of Ulul Albab in dealing with challenging people:
- Understand where the challenging person is coming from.
- Give them the benefit of the doubt.
- Practice patience- self-control, will power, and acceptance.
- They do Ihsan for Allah’s pleasure.
- They establish prayer as it serves as a reminder of their destination.
- They are detached from material possessions.
- If triggered, they say, “I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan.”
- They spend secretly and they spend openly.
- They repel evil conduct with good.
- They show extra kindness to those who trigger them.
Hadith of Holy Prophet (SAW) talks about the best traits of character in dunya and akhirah:
- Forgive people who have been unjust to you and oppressed you.
- Do good to people who have done bad to you.
- Give to people who have deprived you.
Essence of Dua Makarimul Akhlaq:
- Allow me to repel evil with goodness
- Transform my evil into good
The power of pausing and how to practice it:
- We have the rational mind to separate our response from the trigger.
- Learn to stop long enough to get in touch with your values.
- Consider how to respond to a triggering situation.
- Consider the consequences of your actions.
- External events cannot be controlled but our response to them is in our control.
Ways to strengthen our internal pause button:
- Recognize the trigger.
- Mentally pause your reaction.
- Take a deep breath.
- Make the intention to react in a positive manner.
- Ask someone for help.
LINKS:
SURAH AL-HIJR VERSES 45-50
SURAH AR-RAD VERSES 21-24
SURAH FUSSILAT VERSES 34-36
SURAH QASSAS VERSE 54
DUA MAKARIMUL AKHLAQ
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