Ihsan towards parents and the challenges of multigenerational relationships.
The story of an ideal family:
- The contract of a parent is time-limited till the child reaches the age of 21.
- Age 0-7: build a relationship of trust with the child.
- Age 7-14: train the child in life skills.
- Age 14-21: act as a consultant.
- Age 21 onwards: a parent’s duty is now discharged to God.
Continuing responsibilities after the age of 21:
- Children are still entitled to respect and care.
- Children still need advice but they should be treated as adults.
Status that Allah has given parents seen in the light of the Holy Quran:
- Children are first supposed to spend on parents.
- Children must not do shirk and must do Ihsan.
- Parents are the second closest relationship for children after God.
- Children must pray for their parents and serve them.
- The responsibilities of children towards parents grow much more as the latter get older.
- Children must not show any sign of disdain or frustration towards their parents.
- Children must show compassion and humility towards their parents.
- According to Hadith, a mother who dies whilst serving her family is given the same status as a martyr on the Day of Judgement.
- A mother has jannah under her feet- she is their first Rabb.
How should parents deal with children who have made mistakes:
- Pardon them and ask pardon for them.
- Consult and advise them gently.
- Build relationships with your children.
Responsibilities of children towards their parents:
- Children’s duties towards parents increase as the latter age.
- As children become stronger parents are heading towards a decline.
- A healthy multi-generational relationship is good for all generations.
- Show pleasure at taking care of parents.
Four keys to having strong inter-generational relationships:
- Respect the other person even if they have an outlook different from yours.
- Reciprocity: treat one another in a kind manner.
- Real communication.
SURAH BAQARAH VERSE 215
SURAH NISA VERSE 36
SURAH IBRAHIM VERSE 41
SURAH ISRA VERSE 23, 24
SURAH ANKABUT VERSE 8
SURAH LUQMAN VERSE 14
SURAH AHQAF VERSE 15, 16, 17
SURAH NUH VERSE 28
SURAH ALI’ IMRAN VERSE 159
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