Loving and Living the Quran

Let’s remind ourselves of the principles of healthy discussion and debate from the Quran which we have been exploring over the last few days

  1. Use wisdom and good admonition and dispute with them in a manner that is best [Quran16:125].

  2. Establish common ground Establish common ground 29:46

  3. Use logic and appeal to reason [Quran 36:77-79]

  4. Do not offend [Quran 6:109]

  5. Present a balanced perspective  [Quran 2:219].

  6. Respond with goodness rather than react to evil [Quran 41:34].

 

Direct download: Ep_257_Principles_of_healthy_discussion_16125_audio.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

One of the methods frequently used by the Quran to convince the reader of its arguments is the use of logic and rhetorical questioning. Researchers into Quranic linguists assert that such rhetorical questions are used in more than a thousand verses of the Quran and each use is an invitation for the reader to shift their thinking paradigm. 
Let us remind ourselves that a rhetorical question is one that is asked without expecting or needing an answer but for the sake of emphasis or effect. Linguists say that a rhetorical question is “a forceful statement which has the form of a question but which does not expect an answer.’’ i.e., the rhetorical question has an interrogative structure but does not seek information. The speaker has some purpose in his mind, either to give a command or to make a statement indirectly. 
In the Holy Quran, Allah [swt] uses such questions to 
emphasize a point, 
to show the logic of the argument
and to jolt the reader into reflecting
to help the reader understand the point 
and to convince the reader with the sound logic presented. 
Why use this method of discussion? Scholars explain that the Holy Quran addresses its readers as sentient, articulate and rational human beings. It reminds us that we have been given the faculty of reason and logic. We have the ability to weigh things up, to make considered judgements. We are not asked to follow blindly or to agree to something which does not appeal to our reason. And so, by presenting convincing arguments, we are invited to be utterly convinced, deep down, in our heart and soul, that what is revealed in the Quran is the Truth, and that the truth can stand up to any scrutiny.

Example: One of the frequent challenges that came up for the Holy Prophet [saw] was the belief in resurrection and the hereafter. In the following verses, the Quran uses rhetorical questions to help us reflect and come to logical conclusions:
Has man not seen that We created him from a drop, and behold, he is a manifest adversary?
And he has set forth for Us a parable and forgotten his own creation, saying, "Who revives these bones, decayed as they are?" 
Say, "He will revive them Who brought them forth the first time, and He knows every creation [Quran 36:77-79]

These questions are posed to those who rejected the resurrection and final accounting. Their argument was: how can we be recreated if our bones have already turned to dust? The counter-argument presented through rhetorical questions is that the recreation cannot be harder than the original creation. He who created you in the first place, can He not bring you back? If He could create from nothingness, what can stop Him from recreating from the bones that have turned to dust?
Implementing this verse in our discussions and arguments requires a level of confidence and grounded-ness. 
When we find ourselves in disputed arguments, it is so easy to get emotional and entrenched in our views. Excellent communicators, however, learn how and when to use logic and reason to put their points across. Using such questions is also deeply respectful of your opponent as you are appealing to their innate sense of reason and logic.

Direct download: Ep_253_Appeal_to_reason_and_ask_rhetorical_questions.m4a
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 5:38pm EDT

We have explored this verse from Sura Fussilat from many different aspects. Today’s exploration will be in line with our theme of using verses from the Quran to guide us when we find ourselves in the midst of an argument. 

Despite our best intentions, things can get heated when we are in the midst of a conflict. It is hard to hear things that go against our belief system. It is so easy to take things personally. Others can say things in a way that triggers us and potentially make us lose our emotional balance. 

This verse from Sura Fussilat advices us to not react when others fall short of respectful conduct.

Repel [evil] with what is best. [If you do so,] behold, he between whom and you was enmity, will be as though he were a sympathetic friend [Quran 41:34].

Scholars explain that the absence of a direct object after repel in the above verse means that the verse is open to many meanings and possibilities: we can repel anger with patience, error with truth, ignorance with clemency, and the commission of evil with pardon.

In other words, instead of reacting to people’s behavior out of anger, we can practice responding in a way that is aligned to our own value system.

As this verse explains, when we do this, it gives the other person a chance to calm down, it diffuses the tension and the aggression and allows the conversation to get back on track. A practice of repelling evil [or communication triggers and mistakes] with good [responsive and worthy communication] can lead to reconciliation, love, and (re)connection.

How?

We need to pause enough so that we can remind ourselves of the gifts Allah [swt] has given us in order to repel evil with good. These gifts are the gift of imagination, of self-control, of will power and the gift of conscience. It is only when we use some or all of these gifts that we can respond based on our own values rather than react to poor behaviour on the part of another.

 

Direct download: Ep_256_Respond_rather_than_react4134_audio.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Do not revile those whom they call upon besides Allah, lest they should revile God out of enmity, ignorance. [Quran 6:108]

This verse from Sura Anam cautions believers not to turn to offence and aggression in the midst of an argument, especially on matters of faith. It also provides a solid reason why it is not a good idea to do so: because such behaviour will most likely lead to a retaliation of like for like.

When we are in the midst of an argument, it can be easy to become triggered and angry. If we sense we are losing an argument, we can become aggressive, attacking that which is most sacred to the other in an effort to prove our point, hurt the other or to defend ourselves.

Such tactics never work. Behaviour like this will lead to a tit for tat competition that will only increase anger, bitterness and hostility between the arguing parties.
A verbal assault has the same impact on our physiology that a physical attack does. When human beings are thus attacked, their rational brain goes offline and they regress to their most primitive instincts of fight or flight. When human beings are attacked, they will either attack the other or defend themselves using whatever means they have in their power. Often, they will resort to attacking our most vulnerable areas or our most sacred beliefs.

In other words, once we resort to attacking what is sacred to the other, the outcome of such a conversation or discussion cannot be good. It will leave both parties feeling angry, aggressive and hostile towards the other. 

This verse is a powerful reminder in our personal, spiritual and political lives when we find ourselves in a midst of a dispute. Let us maintain respect for each other and mind our words, using logic and reason rather than hate or aggression to make our points.

As believers, we are expected to show the highest level of decorum and behaviour towards friends and opponents alike. 

This is more true today than ever before when arguments on social media often disintegrate to hateful and offensive comments as people hide behind the screen to say things that they would not have the guts to say to others in person. 

Whether we like it or not, fair or not, reality is that the whole is judged by its part. Every single one of us is an ambassador and those that wish us ill are purposely baiting and triggering us, waiting for us to fail, to slip up. Let us use this verse to remind ourselves not to fall for these traps. 

How can we do this? 

We do not need to engage or respond right away, especially on social media. We can give ourselves the grace of time and gather our thoughts before responding. We can remind ourselves of the larger goal, and that none of this is personal. And we can practice practice practice!

Direct download: Ep_254_Do_not_offend_your_opponent.m4a
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 3:57pm EDT

When we are in the midst of a conflict or a dispute, we tend to focus only on our side of the argument, ignoring or rejecting what merit or truth may be found on the other side.

 

 

And when we do this, the other side gets more focused on proving us wrong and highlighting their arguments. 

 

 

Discussions and arguments like these seldom if ever, result in a deeper understanding. And they almost never result in any one side giving in to the other. 

 

The Quran teaches us another way:

 

they ask you about wine and gambling. Say,“There is a great sin in both of them, and some benefits for the people, but their sinfulness outweighs their benefit” [Quran 2:219].

 

This is such an interesting verse and one from which we can learn a lot.

 

 

Although the Quran is unequivocal in its discouragement of using intoxicants and gambling, it acknowledges that there is some merit and attraction in them.

 

 

To someone who is inclined towards intoxicants and/or gambling, they are engaging in these because they find some attraction or benefit in them. If we are too focused on telling them all the reasons why these are evil and not allowed, their experience is that we do not understand them and why they are so inclined. Once we accept that their inclinations make sense given the attraction, they feel validated and are much more likely to hear opposing arguments out. 

 

This is such a beautiful example of how we can acknowledge and validate another point of view while we present our arguments and reasoning. When we are able to acknowledge and validate another’s point of view, we do these four things:

 

1)   Convey that we are balanced and open minded

2)   Convey empathy and understanding for their point of view

3)   Convey that we are brave and fair enough to look at all sides of an issue, even those that go against our point of view

4)   Look for common ground

Such a posture when we are in conflict does a lot to dissolve resistance and greatly enhances the other’s ability to listen to our point of view and to consider it.

 

This verse is particularly useful for parents who are attempting to discourage their children from using substances or engaging in risky behaviour. If we acknowledge the positive aspects of substances and convey that we understand the attraction, they are so much more likely to pay attention to what we have to say.

 

Direct download: Present_a_balanced_perspective_audio_2219.mp3
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 11:31am EDT

Continuing with our series on inspiration from the Holy Quran for engaging in discussion and dispute, the verse today is from Sura Ankabut where Allah (swt) says: 

 

And dispute not with the People of the Book, save in the most virtuous manner, unless it be those of them who have done wrong. And say, “We believe in that which was sent down unto us and was sent down unto you; our God and your God are one, and unto Him are we submitters.” [Holy Quran 29:46]

 

This verse is an injunction to the Prophet and Muslims to not argue with Jews and Christians, except in a beautiful manner that calls them through God’s signs and draws evidence from God’s proofs or in a manner that invites them to good, as in the verse we discussed yesterday [16:125: Call unto the way of thy Lord with wisdom and goodly exhortation. And dispute with them in the most virtuous manner] which taught us that even if others speak poorly, Muslims should still speak well. 

 

Today’s verse from Sura Ankabut adds another principle for debate and dispute: establish common ground by reminding the other side of what you share in common. In this verse, the Holy Prophet [saw] is asked to remind them that he believes in their revelation and that they both share a common deity of worship. 

 

Muslims are ordered to declare the fundamental similarities between the revelations sent to them and those sent to previous religious communities, as in 2:136: Say, “We believe in God, and in that which was sent down to us, and in that which was sent down to Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the Tribes, and in what Moses and Jesus were given, and in what the prophets were given from their Lord. We make no distinction among any of them, and unto Him we submit” (cf. 3:84). 

 

In a world that is focused on differences between people, in what makes one superior over another and the divides therein, this verse establishes a very important principle of communicating with those we disagree with: instead of focusing on what separates us, establish a common ground that you can agree on. 

 

A study of psychology reveals why this is such an important and effective way to communicate. 

We all come from different backgrounds and as a result, we see things differently and hold different beliefs.

But this doesn’t mean it’s impossible to agree, or at least be amicable and respectful. By finding common ground, we can see eye-to-eye with someone else for a moment. It then becomes easier to see eye-to-eye on other topics you previously didn’t agree on at all. 

When we focus on differences, the other is likely to become defensive and much more stubborn in their position. Pointing out what you have in common and can agree on, validates them, puts them at ease and makes it more likely that they may listen to your point of view. 

 

Of course, this does not mean that we will always convince the other person of our point of view. When people realize that there are at least some areas of agreement, it builds trust and both can walk away feeling less diametrically opposed. And it is more likely that you can work together toward common goals.

Reflection: 

When was the last time you were in disagreement with someone about a matter or belief or value? Did you walk away with a deeper understanding or a feeling of further distance and dissatisfaction? 

 

Implementation:

Next time you find yourself in disagreement, remember this verse and try establishing common ground, some area of agreement. This is not as hard as it sounds. We can often disagree about details but agree on the bigger picture. For example, as Muslims, we can all agree about the importance of the Holy Prophet [saw] and emulating his way of life, even if we disagree on the details of what that looks like. 

 

Communication experts recommend the following to foster communication between people on opposing sides of an issue:

  1. Know your subject and why you believe what you do. When we are not sure of why we belief what we do, we are more likely to get defensive.

  2. Try to see it from their perspective. Seeing from another perspective does not mean that we give up our beliefs. It does mean that we build bridges of mutual respect and understanding. When we can present the other person’s argument to them, it immediately builds trust and respect because they know we get it, even if we do not agree. 

  3. Seeing from another perspective begins by listening and asking questions to deepen our understanding. Not only does this foster greater understanding, it also allows people to reflect on their own beliefs and biases.

  4. Be aware of your own biases and maybe even announce them. We are all products of our environment and upbringing and this impacts how we think and what we belief. We can be humble about this without changing our beliefs if they are working for us.

  5. Keep the issue under discussion separate from the person who is arguing it. This means we never ever attack another human being’s character or personality. Doing do will only ensure that they do the same and will block out your arguments. 

 

  1. Appeal to reason and ask [rhetorical] questions [36:77-79]

One of the methods frequently used by the Quran to convince the reader of its arguments is the use of logic and rhetorical questioning. Researchers into Quranic linguists assert that such rhetorical questions are used in more than a thousand verses of the Quran and each use is an invitation for the reader to shift their thinking paradigm. 

Let us remind ourselves that a rhetorical question is one that is asked without expecting or needing an answer but for the sake of emphasis or effect. Linguists say that a rhetorical question is “a forceful statement which has the form of a question but which does not expect an answer.’’ i.e., the rhetorical question has an interrogative structure but does not seek information. The speaker has some purpose in his mind, either to give a command or to make a statement indirectly. 

In the Holy Quran, Allah [swt] uses such questions to 

emphasize a point, 

to show the logic of the argument

and to jolt the reader into reflecting

to help the reader understand the point 

and to convince the reader with the sound logic presented. 

Why use this method of discussion? Scholars explain that the Holy Quran addresses its readers as sentient, articulate and rational human beings. It reminds us that we have been given the faculty of reason and logic. We have the ability to weigh things up, to make considered judgements. We are not asked to follow blindly or to agree to something which does not appeal to our reason. And so, by presenting convincing arguments, we are invited to be utterly convinced, deep down, in our heart and soul, that what is revealed in the Quran is the Truth, and that the truth can stand up to any scrutiny.

Example: One of the frequent challenges that came up for the Holy Prophet [saw] was the belief in resurrection and the hereafter. In the following verses, the Quran uses rhetorical questions to help us reflect and come to logical conclusions:

Has man not seen that We created him from a drop, and behold, he is a manifest adversary?
And he has set forth for Us a parable and forgotten his own creation, saying, "Who revives these bones, decayed as they are?" 
Say, "He will revive them Who brought them forth the first time, and He knows every creation [Quran 36:77-79]

These questions are posed to those who rejected the resurrection and final accounting. Their argument was: how can we be recreated if our bones have already turned to dust? The counter-argument presented through rhetorical questions is that the recreation cannot be harder than the original creation. He who created you in the first place, can He not bring you back? If He could create from nothingness, what can stop Him from recreating from the bones that have turned to dust?

Implementing this verse in our discussions and arguments requires a level of confidence and grounded-ness. 

When we find ourselves in disputed arguments, it is so easy to get emotional and entrenched in our views. Excellent communicators, however, learn how and when to use logic and reason to put their points across. Using such questions is also deeply respectful of your opponent as you are appealing to their innate sense of reason and logic.

 

Direct download: Episode_252_Establish_common_ground.m4a
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 9:20am EDT

Today we start a series on verses from the Quran that guide us how to discuss, debate and disagree with people.  

In the following verse from Sura Nahl, Allah says: 

Call unto the way of your Lord with wisdom and goodly exhortation. And dispute with them in them in a manner that is best [16:125]

 

4 commands are given to the Holy Prophet [as] in this verse. 

 

  1. “(O’ Prophet!) call (mankind)…”

  2. “…to the path of your Lord…”

  3. “…with wisdom and good admonition…”

  4. “…and dispute with them in a manner that is best…”

 

Scholars explain that “To call . . . with wisdom” may mean 

  1. That the one inviting towards God should use knowledge, reason, and understanding to attract people towards God. He should appeal to the natural instinct and the intellect of human beings. People are more likely to respond to arguments which are rational and logical. 

Hazrat Luqmān (as) when advising his son, said: My son, learn wisdom and you will become noble, for verily wisdom directs towards religion 

  1. that people should call others to religion on the basis of the revelation that has come to them, that is by using the verses of the Quran 

  2. Or with firm and truthful words, avoiding obscure language or jargon 

  3. The term beautiful or wise exhortation/admonition can be understood to refer to the beautiful expressions that constitute the arguments, proofs, and reminders found in scripture

  4. Admonition that is done with good intention and for the benefit of people being advised as this shows concern for them

  5. It is advice which is offered in a gentle manner, in a manner that would soften hearts, that is, with gentle persuasion and reasonable commands

 

Good advice, admonition



The second part of the verse deals with the situation that when people are called, they will naturally present their own arguments. And so, how should he respond?

 

To dispute with them in the best way

 

  1. one should dispute in matters of religious difference by using logical argumentation based upon sound and mutually agreed-upon principles

  2. It should be done with sincerity, fairness, gentleness and should preserve the dignity of the other person

  3. Without harassment, rudeness, or harshness

  4. It should be free from condemnation and mockery, and not overstated

 

Reflection:

This verse entails a positive command to action. Invite others towards God. Speak about righteousness and universal values. Invite through example and speech. And when presented with counter arguments, dispute in a gentle and fair manner. 

Implementation:

This verse teaches us how to communicate our values and beliefs to others and also how to respond when others do not agree. 

Reality is that in relationships and in life, we may find ourselves on opposing sides of an issue. Very often, when this happens, we may get triggered and react in a an aggressive and unhelpful way. 

 

This verse reminds us how to engage in communication when there is clearly a difference of opinion or values.

 

Firstly, such conversation needs to be done with the right intention. We can speak up for what we believe, defend our truth, remove doubts and misconceptions, but we must always do with respect and compassion. When we dispute or argue in this way, we are not defending our own power of status. We come from a place of respect, love and compassion, intending good for all concerned.

 

Secondly, wisdom and good advice means that we keep in mind what might be in it for the other person. Why should they listen to us? What is in it for them?

 

This verse is such a valuable reminder, especially in current times when people are more polarized and divided than ever. By being guided by wisdom and respect in our communication we have the best chance of being heard, influencing others or making a difference. 

 

For the next few days, let us explore the elements of a good discussion or argument. 

 

Direct download: Ep_251_How_to_debate_and_dispute_16_125.m4a
Category:Quran Reflection -- posted at: 9:13am EDT

Many of us are feeling angry at the injustices, the oppression, the mass murders, the brainwashing, political posturing, refusal of people to stand up and speak the truth, Islamophobia . … .there really is plenty to make and keep us mad.

Our anger is pointing to the fact that we find ourselves in a situation which is unacceptable according to any standard of morality or humanity and it is completely justified.

The issue is how are we channelling our anger? Are we using it in effective ways and towards the right people and institutions? In part 2 of the series, let’s explore these questions with some guidance and inspiration from the Quran.

 

Please do comment and share if things made sense [or didn’t].

 

#freepalestine#prayforgaza🇵🇸 #gaza #ceasefire#ceasefirenow🇵🇸 #freepalestine🇵🇸#falasteen #distress#quran #freegaza#prayforpalestine #palestinian #palestinanlivesmatter #muslimtherapy #muslimtherapist #lovingandlivingthequran

 

Direct download: Part_2_Channeling_Anger_Effectively.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:55pm EDT

All of us are struggling with collective grief and vicarious trauma during these most distressing of times. While we want to help, we often feel hopeless and helpless. In these episode, we will turn to the Quran for guidance on how to manage ourselves and our strong emotions and take effective action to support our brothers and sisters in Palestine. 

freepalestine#prayforgaza🇵🇸 #gaza #ceasefire#ceasefirenow🇵🇸 #freepalestine🇵🇸#falasteen #distress #quran#freegaza#prayforpalestine #palestinian #palestinanlivesmatter #muslimtherapy #muslimtherapist  #livingandlovingthequran

 


In this episode, we discuss the topic of asking for forgiveness. We start by talking about how to ask forgiveness from God and turn to the topic of apologizing to people and what ineffective and effective apologies look like.
Please let me know what helped and was useful and do take a moment to subscribe on itunes and rate and review the show as it helps reaching a wider audience.
www.livingthequran.org

Direct download: Marzia_19_8.mp3
Category:Personal Virtues -- posted at: 11:32am EDT

In Sura Nisa, we are given a simple and powerful command: to return another person’s greeting in a better or at least equal way. In this episode, we discuss the role greetings play in our relationships and how we can offer sincere greetings to each other.

Direct download: Offer_a_sincere_greeting.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

This verse from Sura Saff reminds us to practise integrity in our speech and action, that is to say and do the same thing. In this episode we discuss the importance of keeping our word and how this impacts all aspects of our lives.

Direct download: Practice_integrity_between_speech_and_actionn.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

The verse from Sura Isra speaks about the body language of humility and arrogance. In this episode we discuss the challenges of humility in the modern age and what we can do to keep ourselves grounded.

Direct download: Walk_Humbly.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

As we have discussed, the true impact of our actions will only be made apparent to us at the final accounting. We can help ourselves have a good outcome by paying attention to how we are spending our time and what return we will get for the time and energy we are spending in this lifetime.

Direct download: Consider_what_you_are_sending_ahead.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

Verses 7 & 8 of Sura Zilzal remind us to pay attention to our small deeds and how we will encounter the impact of these actions on the Day of Judgement. In this episode we explore the idea that we may be able to see the impact of our actions even in this world and we discuss how we can benefit ourselves by consistently doing small acts of goodness and kindness.

Direct download: small_acts_of_kindness.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

Sura Ankabut, which we have been reflecting on ends with a promise from God: that He will guide us to Him if we strive. In this episode we talk about what that means and what we need to do in order to access this guidance.

 

More resources and reflections on Sura Ankabut can be found in this link: 

https://www.livingthequran.org/blog/Resources%20for%20Laylatul%20Qadr

Direct download: If_I_strive_He_will_guide.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

Verse 65 of Sura Ankabut reminds us that under very difficult situations, human beings tend to turn to God and vow to change their lives if they get through this challenging time. But human beings are forgetful creatures and we often go back to our habitual ways once crises have passed. In this verse, we explore and try to understand this human tendency.

 

More resources and reflections on Sura Ankabut can be found in this link: 

https://www.livingthequran.org/blog/Resources%20for%20Laylatul%20Qadr

 

Direct download: Remember_the_promise_you_made.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

Verses 2&3 of Sura Ankabut declare a fact of life: that we will be tried. In this episode, we reflect on the role of trials and hardships in our lives and discuss how we can best prepare and go through them in an effective way

 

More resources and reflections on Sura Ankabut can be found in this link: 

https://www.livingthequran.org/blog/Resources%20for%20Laylatul%20Qadr

Direct download: Prepare_for_the_test.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

Sura Ankabut [The Spider] gets its name from verse 41 which talks about the frailty of the spider’s web. In this episode we reflect on what makes the house of the spider so different and what lessons we may derive from this example

More resources and reflections on Sura Ankabut can be found in this link: 

https://www.livingthequran.org/blog/Resources%20for%20Laylatul%20Qadr

Direct download: Spiders_web.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

In preparation for the upcoming nights of Qadr, let us reflect on the verse from Sura Qadr and discuss some ways we can expand our consciousness on this blessed night. 

More resources for Laylatul Qadr can be found on this link: 

https://www.livingthequran.org/blog/Resources%20for%20Laylatul%20Qadr

 

Direct download: Recognize_the_value_of_the_Night_of_Destiny.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

The verse from Sura Maida encapsulates the philosophy of Islam, which is to worship Him and to serve His creation. We go into a bit of background on this verse and narrate the story behind its revelation while reminding ourselves how we cannot separate worship to Him and meeting the needs of His creation.

Direct download: Worship_and_service_are_inseparable.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

Verses from Sura Nur were revealed when a person was accused of unchaste behaviour by a group of gossip mongers. The community believed the rumours and the gossip spread. The verse deals very strongly with both the spreaders and believers of the rumours. In this episode we discuss how we can practise adopting kinder and more helpful assumptions about people.

Direct download: Choose_your_interpretations_wisely.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 8:03pm EDT

Verse 12 from Sura Hujarat cautions believers from falling prey to negative assumptions and suspicions about each other. In this episode, we try and understand the brain’s tendency to do this and discuss first steps in counteracting this very human tendency.

Direct download: Watch_those_suspicions.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 7:26pm EDT

Verse 5 which is repeated in verse 6 of Sura Inshirah is familiar to many of us. We discuss what does it mean to have ease along with difficulty and how can we become more intentional in beginning to notice the ease while we are going through a challenging period in life.

Direct download: Did_you_notice_the_ease.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 7:03am EDT

The command in verse 11 of  Sura Mujadilah is so simple and practical and it has a profound impact on community relationships. We discuss what stops us from following this command and what we get in exchange for following it.

Direct download: Make_space_for_others.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:49am EDT

In this episode we reflect on the famous verse from Sura Ale Imran where Allah swt asks us to give from that which we love. We discuss what that means, what stops us and how we can inculcate this habit of generosity within ourselves by learning from the Beloveds of Allah swt.

Direct download: GIve_from_that_which_you_love.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 5:32am EDT

In this episode, we explore the conversation from Sura Ibrahim when Shaytan tells mankind that they need to stop excusing their behaviour by blaming him and that he did not have the power to compel them to take actions.

Direct download: Stop_the_blame_game_and_accept_responsibility_1422.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 5:23am EDT

In this episode we discuss the benefits and barriers to seeking guidance and advice from others and why we need to get into the habit of consultation which is amongst the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (saw).

Direct download: Seek_consultation.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 1:57pm EDT

When we encounter negativity or aggression towards us, it is easy to lose our emotional balance. We use verse 65 of Sura Yunus to inspire us towards dealing with aggression and negativity.

Direct download: Do_not_let_their_speech_grieve_you.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 1:49pm EDT

Amongst the most challenging people that the Holy Prophet (saw) dealt with were those who professed belief with their tongue but harboured ill will towards the Prophet (saw) and his mission in their hearts. In this verse Allah swt tells the Prophet (saw) how to deal with this situation. In this episode we explore how this verse can guide us in dealing with situations of aggression and hate towards us.

Direct download: Speak_insightful_words.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 8:27pm EDT

In this episode, we explore the meaning of “Qawlan Sadid” from Sura Ahzab and discuss its application in various circumstances

Direct download: Say_what_you_mean.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 7:35pm EDT

We look at the verse from Sura Isra which talks us about honouring our parents and especially about how we speak to them. We explore and discuss why it is important to have the highest level of courtesy and compassion towards our parents in speech and how we can do that despite the hurts we may have experienced as children.

Direct download: Speak_nobly_to_your_parents.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 4:24pm EDT

The verse from Sura Isra lays out the general commandment for speech in the Quran. We are told to speak words which are “Ahsan”. In this episode, we explore the definition of the word Ahsan and then discuss three ways to make our speech aligned with this verse.

Direct download: Speak_what_which_is_best_1.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 3:51pm EDT

In this episode we reflect on a verse from Sura Taha where Nabi Musa (as) is given advice on how to converse and present his case in the court of Firoun.

Direct download: Speak_gently_in_the_face_of_aggression-_1.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 5:09am EDT

Today’s reflection is from Suratul Ibrahim where Allah swt uses the parable of a good tree and compares it with a good word. In this episode we discuss the similarities between trees and words and discuss the importance of having a strong rooted and positive intention for our communication

Direct download: Recognize_the_power_of_words.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 3:30am EDT

This verse from Sura Isra talk about the basis of all commercial transactions which are giving full measure and fair dealing.

Direct download: GIve_full_measure.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 5:11pm EDT

This verse from Sura Hujaraat cautions us against participating in the ridiculing or mocking of others or putting them down. We discuss the psychology behind this temptation, why it is so problematic and what we can do to stop ourselves.

Direct download: Resist_the_temptation_to_mock_others.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 5:01pm EDT

This verse from Sura Baqara explains the purpose of fasting for us and reminds us that nations before us have also fasted. We discuss the three levels of fasting and how we can aim to fulfill the purpose of fasting.

Direct download: The_Purpose_of_Fasting_2183.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 4:42pm EDT

The verse from Sura Yunus lays out a roadmap of what the functions of the Quran are: 

  1. Maw‘idhah An advice, a reminder to do good that is done gently, with care and concern.

  2. Shiffaun: A cure for what is in the chests.

  3. Huddan: A guidance. A clear guidance on the path, on the outcomes of different actions

  4. Rahma: A mercy: It lays out the outcome of our actions while we are still able to change direction

Using this verse, we can begin to assess our own relationship with the message and develop a more meaningful relationship with our holy book. 

Here are the some of reflection questions we used: 

 

Is the Quran relevant to my life?

Advice: Do verses come to mind when I am struggling or confused about something in my life? 

Healing: Do I use the verses to cure the dis-ease in my soul? Do I use it to purify my heart? Is it a companion in loneliness? 

Guidance: Do I use the Quran for guidance? Do I consult it when I need to make a decision about something? Does it guide my actions? 

Mercy: Am I in touch with His Mercy when I recite the Quran? How?

Direct download: Relationship_with_Quran_March_2023.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 5:22am EDT

The Holy Prophet [saw] gathered his community on the eve of the blessed month and advised them on how to best use their time during this precious month. Let us reflect on this important sermon and plan our days and hours in the days ahead.

Direct download: welcoming_the_month_of_Ramadan.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 6:38am EDT

Today we start a series of brief reflections on verses from the Quran for the coming month of Ramadan. This episode reflects on verse 2:185 and discusses the anticipation of the coming month.

Direct download: Anticipating_the_month_of_Ramadan_Audio.mp3
Category:Ramadan -- posted at: 3:11am EDT

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Direct download: Surah_Maryam_-_Part_3.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 11:25am EDT

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Direct download: Surah_Maryam_-_Part_2.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 11:20am EDT

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Direct download: Surah_Maryam_-_Part_1.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 11:06am EDT

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Direct download: Chapter_20_Sura_Taha_Part_6.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 2:10pm EDT

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Direct download: Chapter_20_Sura_Taha_Part_5.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 1:59pm EDT

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Direct download: Chapter_20_Sura_Taha_Part_4.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 5:58am EDT

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Direct download: Surah_Taha_part_3.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 5:49am EDT

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Direct download: Chapter_20_Sura_Taha_Part_2.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 5:22am EDT

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Direct download: Chapter_20_Sura_Taha_part_1.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 4:53am EDT

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Direct download: Lecture_2_The_Science_and_Spirituality_of_Sabr.mp3
Category:Spirituality -- posted at: 2:58pm EDT

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Direct download: Surah_al-Ambiya_Part_8.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 9:34am EDT

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Direct download: Surah_al-Ambiya_Part_7.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 9:21am EDT

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Direct download: Surah_al-Ambiya_Part_6.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 5:57am EDT

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Direct download: Surah_al-Ambiya_Part_5.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 5:55am EDT

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Direct download: Surah_al-Ambiya_Part_4.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 5:48am EDT

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Direct download: Chapter_21-_Sura_Ambiya_part_3.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 5:33am EDT

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Direct download: Chapter_21-_Sura_Ambiya_part_2.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 2:39pm EDT

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Direct download: Lecture_5_Science_and_Spirituality_of_Sabr.m4a
Category:Spirituality -- posted at: 10:59am EDT

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Direct download: Lecture_4_Science_and_Spirituality_of_Sabr.m4a
Category:Spirituality -- posted at: 11:12am EDT

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Direct download: Lecture_3_The_Science_and_Spirituality_of_Sabr.m4a
Category:Spirituality -- posted at: 6:19am EDT

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Direct download: Lecture_1_The_Science_and_Spirituality_of_Sabr.m4a
Category:Spirituality -- posted at: 6:05am EDT

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Direct download: Chapter_21_Sura_Anbiya_Part_1_Audio.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 1:08pm EDT

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Direct download: Surah_Al-Hajj_The_Pilgrimage_-_Part_7.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 2:29pm EDT

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Direct download: Surah_Al-Hajj_The_Pilgrimage_-_Part_6.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 3:04pm EDT

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Direct download: Surah_Al-Hajj_The_Pilgrimage_-_Part_5.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 2:46pm EDT

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Direct download: Surah_Al-Hajj_The_Pilgrimage-_Part_3.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 12:49pm EDT

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Direct download: Surah_Al-Hajj_The_Pilgrimage-_Part_2.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 8:34am EDT

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Direct download: Surah_Al-Hajj_The_Pilgrimage-_Part_1.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 8:15am EDT

The emphasis is put on these three things, ‘hearing, sight and understanding’, because they are the main means of gnosis. Physical phenomena are mostly perceived through the ear and eye. Mental issues are understood through the mind.

To comprehend how important the senses of vision and audition are, it will be enough to imagine the state that man would be in if these senses were lost, how limited his world would be, how empty of light and awareness!

 

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Direct download: Sura_Mominoon_part_7.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 2:01am EDT

It is for this very reason that, addressing all the messengers, Allah says:

“O messengers! Eat of the good things and act righteously. Verily I know best what you do.”

The difference between prophets and other human beings is not that they do not have human needs such as the need for food rather they see special modes of nutrition as means towards perfection, therefore they eat pure and wholesome food.

The average person eats as an aim in itself, pursuing the satisfaction of his animal desires whether it is good or bad, he is not even concerned about the physical benefits of his diet not to mention the spiritual effects the foods might have upon him.

 

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Direct download: Sura_Mominoon_part_6.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 6:30am EDT

As a matter of fact, the people who exhaust themselves in pursuit of worldly benefits and gains cannot believe that somebody in this world could also exert himself sincerely and selflessly for the sake of human welfare. They regard deceptive slogans, which they raise to capture power, and false promises, which they make day and night to bring about reforms as natural. They think that sincerity and selflessness can be employed only to deceive people and these cannot be put to any better use. That is why the epithet of power hungry for the reformers in all ages has been used by those already in power as if their own power and domination in the land was their birth right, and they were in no way blame worthy for struggling for it and achieving it.

 

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Direct download: Sura_Mominoon_part_5.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT

In a tradition by the Prophet (S), we read:

“On the Day of Hereafter, the angels will give whoever recites Sura al-Mu’minun good tidings about the breath of life and a Garden of delight, and when the Angel of Death comes to take his soul, he will give him such good tidings that he will be delighted.”

Imam Sadiq also said:

“Whoever reads Sura al-Mu’minun and continues reading it every Friday, Allah will render the end of his life blissful and his place will be raised high in Paradise alongside the prophets and the messengers.”

It is necessary to reiterate this point that mentioning the virtues of reciting the Suras of the Qur’an never means reading them without pondering upon them and practicing them, for this heavenly Book is a book with a practical program for the training and education of man.

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Direct download: Sura_Mominoon_part_4.m4a
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 12:38pm EDT

As we said earlier, the choice of the title, “Al-Mu’minun” for this Sura is because of the beginning verses of the Sura that enumerate the attributes of the believers in some short, lively, significant and comprehensive phrases.

In addition, it is interesting that this Sura first mentions the delightful and glorious destiny of the believers before talking about their attributes in order to kindle the flames of love and enthusiasm in them for reaching this goal and great honour in their souls.

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Direct download: media.io_a406b943078c435dab64974f63bf61cc.mp3
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 11:58am EDT

As the name of this Sura suggests, its content is mostly about the special attributes of the believers, and, at the end, it mentions some statements upon the beliefs and practice that complete these attributes.

The contents of this Sura can be divided into seven parts:

Beginning with the noble verse:

“Successful indeed are the believers”

and continuing for several verses afterwards, this Sura mentions some of the attributes that lead to the salvation and deliverance of the believers. These practical attributes are so comprehensive and accurate that they also cover various aspects of social and personal life.

 

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Direct download: media.io_3c50184b66a1473cbaf60a618c006e1d.mp3
Category:Quran Study Circle -- posted at: 7:51am EDT

Al-Mu’minūn ("The Believers") is the 23rd chapter (sūrah) of the Qur'an with 118 verses (āyāt). Regarding the timing and contextual background of the supposed revelation (asbāb al-nuzūl), it is an earlier "Meccan surah", which means it is believed to have been revealed in Mecca, instead of later in Medina.

This surah deals with the fundamentals of faith (Aqidah), Tawheed (Islamic monotheism), Risalah (Messengership), Resurrection and the supreme Judgement of God. The surah drives these themes home by drawing attention to God's creation of man through different stages in the mother's womb, His creation of the heavens and the earth, His sending down rains and growing plants, trees and fruits, and His providing of domestic animals with various benefits for man, all together with an emphasis on the fact that man shall die and shall be raised up on the Day of Resurrection. (See also: Islamic eschatology)

 

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Direct download: media.io_27531db4eaa64f029b4c96c5a10a6d27.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:09pm EDT

Ihsan towards parents and the challenges of multigenerational relationships.

The story of an ideal family:

  • The contract of a parent is time-limited till the child reaches the age of 21.
  • Age 0-7: build a relationship of trust with the child. 
  • Age 7-14: train the child in life skills. 
  • Age 14-21: act as a consultant.
  • Age 21 onwards: a parent’s duty is now discharged to God.

Continuing responsibilities after the age of 21:

  • Children are still entitled to respect and care.
  • Children still need advice but they should be treated as adults.

Status that Allah has given parents seen in the light of the Holy Quran:

  • Children are first supposed to spend on parents.
  • Children must not do shirk and must do Ihsan.
  • Parents are the second closest relationship for children after God.
  • Children must pray for their parents and serve them.
  • The responsibilities of children towards parents grow much more as the latter get older.
  • Children must not show any sign of disdain or frustration towards their parents.
  • Children must show compassion and humility towards their parents.
  • According to Hadith, a mother who dies whilst serving her family is given the same status as a martyr on the Day of Judgement. 
  • A mother has jannah under her feet- she is their first Rabb.

How should parents deal with children who have made mistakes:

  • Pardon them and ask pardon for them.
  • Consult and advise them gently.
  • Build relationships with your children.

Responsibilities of children towards their parents:

  • Children’s duties towards parents increase as the latter age.
  • As children become stronger parents are heading towards a decline.
  • A healthy multi-generational relationship is good for all generations.
  • Show pleasure at taking care of parents.

Four keys to having strong inter-generational relationships:

  1. Respect the other person even if they have an outlook different from yours.
  2. Reciprocity: treat one another in a kind manner.
  3. Resilience.
  4. Real communication.

LINKS:

SURAH BAQARAH VERSE 215

SURAH NISA VERSE 36

SURAH IBRAHIM VERSE 41

SURAH ISRA VERSE 23, 24

SURAH ANKABUT VERSE 8

SURAH LUQMAN VERSE 14

SURAH AHQAF VERSE 15, 16, 17

SURAH NUH VERSE 28

SURAH ALI’ IMRAN VERSE 159

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Direct download: media.io_9th_muharram.mp3
Category:Muharram Lectures -- posted at: 3:31pm EDT

Three keys to living a life of Ihsan (cont.)

Key 3: Pardon and forgive- Understanding God’s forgiveness

  • Ghaffar- He who forgives the quantity of sins.
  • Ghafoor- He who forgives the quality of sins.
  • Al-'Afuw- He who removes the ill effects of sins.

These are the same qualities that one must apply in their relationships with others.

Types of forgiveness:

  • Situational forgiveness- when one moves on from a situation that causes them turmoil.
  • Dispositional forgiveness- pardon, forgive and overlook others for their shortcomings.

Motivation for change- inspiration from the Quran and Hadith:

  • Continuously remind oneself that forgiving others gives access to His mercy.
  • To attain God’s forgiveness one must forgive his fellow human beings.
  • Assume that everyone has at least as good intentions as oneself. 
  • Psychologists and ulema both explain that forgiveness is an inner freedom.
  • God transforms bad deeds into good deeds- forgive and promote if someone admits a mistake.
  • A momin is obsessed with his own shortcomings, not with those of others. 

Difference between anger and resentment:

  • Anger: is a quick emotion. It is a fire that goes out quite quickly.
  • Resentment: a persistent feeling of upset towards a situation. It’s similar to hot burning coals that continue to smoulder long after.

What we hold on to costs us emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Barriers to forgiveness:

  • Not recognizing the cost to one’s well-being.
  • Fear of condoning hurtful behaviour.
  • Belief that “they should pay for it.”
  • Lack of skills in coping with anger.

What is forgiveness?

  • Forgiveness does not mean condoning another’s behaviour.
  • It’s a change in feelings and attitudes regarding what happened.
  • Letting go of negative emotions such as taking revenge.
  • There is no desire to make the other person suffer anymore.
  • There is an increased ability to wish the other person well. 
  • Results in spiritual expansion and closer proximity to God.

LINKS: 

SURAH YUNUS VERSE 65

SURAH AN-NUR VERSE 22

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Direct download: media.io_8th_muharram.mp3
Category:Muharram Lectures -- posted at: 2:48pm EDT

Three keys to living a life of Ihsan (cont.)

 Key 2: Restrain anger- what is anger?

  • The Holy Quran talks about ‘ghayz’- inner rage and ‘ghadab’- anger manifested in words or actions. 
  • If ‘ghayz’ is not managed, it will show up as ‘ghadab’.
  • Allah has created us perfectly and anger is not a design flaw within us.
  • Anger is a psychological state that results from inner agitation and desire for revenge. 
  • Anger has a great potential to be misused. 
  • It’s a signal amplifier signifying what is important to a person. 
  • Anger hides more vulnerable emotions.
  • Unprocessed emotions will eventually cause disease in our bodies.
  • Both extremes of either unleashing or deny anger are unhealthy for a person’s physical and mental well-being. 
  • When it becomes a habit to blame others for one’s anger, then that insanity becomes fixed. Anger is a very energizing emotion as it is meant to deal with a threat.
  • Anger gives one a feeling of power and righteousness which then feeds the ego and ends up depriving one’s soul and spirit.

How to control anger:

  • When such anger is experienced one must always remember the wrath of God. 
  • The faculty of anger which has been given to us has to be used in a balanced way.
  • True power lies not in unleashing but in controlling anger.
  • Instead of just feeling angry, turn that anger into productive action which leads to social movements being born.
  • The proper use of the emotion of anger helps with the establishment and maintenance of a just social order and civic life.

LINKS:

SURAH ALI ‘IMRAN VERSE 134

“Forty Hadith” by  Ruhollah Khomeini

“Al-Ghazzali On Disciplining the Self” by  Abu Hamid Muhammad Al-Ghazzali

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Direct download: media.io_7th_muharram.mp3
Category:Muharram Lectures -- posted at: 2:13pm EDT

Practice of pausing (cont.)

  • Recognize the trigger.
  • Press pause for at least 6 seconds.
  • Take a deep breath.
  • Consider your reaction in a situation from a place of Ihsan.
  • Remember the tools Allah has provided you- self-awareness, power of choice, guidance and ability to consult with others.
  • Develop a mantra or an affirmation.
  • Press play again to continue in a better way.

Practices to develop self-control over time:

  • Practice doing one thing at one time.
  • Reduce inputs- news, social media, lectures.
  • Spending time in silence as it allows our spirit to grow.

Three keys to living a life of Ihsan:

  1. Spend when you have plenty and spend in challenging times.
  2. Restrain your anger.
  3. Pardon and forgive.

Key 1: Spending in good and bad times:

  • Do good to others as Allah has done good to you.
  • It keeps the flow of blessings going.
  • Remind yourself that Allah has provided you with these blessings.
  • If you bring good, Allah will provide multifold blessings.
  • Charity begins at home. 

Research on the connection between money and happiness:

  • Having more does not make you more generous.
  • Paradox of generosity- when you give more you are happier.
  • Give because of good intentions.
  • Making a practice of giving makes you more open-hearted.

Effects of materialism:

  • It is highly correlated with being dissatisfied with one’s life.
  • Results in low self- esteem and less integration in the community. 
  • Find less meaning in life.
  • Less concerned about the welfare of others.
  • Less satisfied with family lives.
  • Less fun and enjoyment in what they experience.
  • More likely to be depressed and envious.

LINKS:

Ghurar al-Hikam: comprehensive collection of short quotations and aphorisms by Ali ibn Abi Talib. 

SURAH ALI IMRAN [3:134]

SURAH AL-QASAS [28:76,77,78,79,80,81,82,83,84]

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Direct download: media.io_6th_muharram.mp3
Category:Muharram Lectures -- posted at: 6:27am EDT

Dealing with challenging relationships whilst practicing Ihsan.

Reference to Surah Ar-Rad, Verse 21-24- talking about the Ulul Albab- Men of Understanding.

 

  • Characteristics of Ulul Albab in dealing with challenging people:

 

  1. Understand where the challenging person is coming from.
  2. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
  3. Practice patience- self-control, will power, and acceptance.
  4. They do Ihsan for Allah’s pleasure. 
  5. They establish prayer as it serves as a reminder of their destination.
  6. They are detached from material possessions.
  7. If triggered, they say, “I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan.”
  8. They spend secretly and they spend openly.
  9. They repel evil conduct with good.
  10. They show extra kindness to those who trigger them.

Hadith of Holy Prophet (SAW) talks about the best traits of character in dunya and akhirah:

  • Forgive people who have been unjust to you and oppressed you.
  • Do good to people who have done bad to you.
  • Give to people who have deprived you.

Essence of Dua Makarimul Akhlaq:

  • Allow me to repel evil with goodness
  • Transform my evil into good

The power of pausing and how to practice it:

  • We have the rational mind to separate our response from the trigger.
  • Learn to stop long enough to get in touch with your values.
  • Consider how to respond to a triggering situation.
  • Consider the consequences of your actions. 
  • External events cannot be controlled but our response to them is in our control.

Ways to strengthen our internal pause button:

  • Recognize the trigger. 
  • Mentally pause your reaction.
  • Take a deep breath. 
  • Make the intention to react in a positive manner.
  • Ask someone for help.

LINKS:

SURAH AL-HIJR VERSES 45-50

SURAH AR-RAD VERSES 21-24

SURAH FUSSILAT VERSES 34-36

SURAH QASSAS VERSE 54

DUA MAKARIMUL AKHLAQ

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Prioritizing acts of Ihsan (cont.)

  • Prevent burnout by knowing the purpose, destination, and intention of the good deed.
  • Get clear on expectations from oneself and others.
  • Focus on contributing in areas of one’s expertise.
  • Learn to set boundaries and say NO when required.
  • Manage time and energy.
  • Form meaningful connections. 
  • Practice self-care and renewal.

Reasons to learn to say NO

  • To avoid other peoples’ priorities taking precedence over ours.
  • Have time for family and close friends.
  • To rest and recuperate
  • To avoid frustration and stress.
  • To make ourselves available for deeds that are in alignment with our purpose and ability to contribute.

LINKS: 

SURAH AL-HASHR [59:19]

SURAH AL-MAIDAH [5:105]

HADITH OF UNWAN BASRI

‘THE POWER OF A POSITIVE NO: HOW TO SAY NO AND STILL GET TO YES’ by William Ury

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Receiving Ihsan- rights of those who do good to us:

  • Receive the Ihsan with grace and kindness.
  • Pray for those who have done Ihsan on you.
  • Thank them for their kindness.
  • Spread good mention about them in public.
  • If possible, do something in return for them.
  • Ask for forgiveness for them.
  • Pay it forward.
  • Give them something they need.
  • Allow others to partake of the good deed.

Who deserves acts of Ihsan from us?

  • Anyone who is in need.
  • Unilateral virtue- Do good to the people who are deserving and to those who don’t deserve it. We are ambassadors of the faith and must follow in the footsteps of the Holy Prophet (SAW) and the AhlulBayt (AS).
  • Our family has special rights over us when it comes to doing Ihsan towards them.

However, enabling someone towards unhelpful behaviour is not Ihsan. 

Prioritizing acts of Ihsan

  • Focus on quality and intention rather than on quantity.
  • Recognize our limitations and set boundaries.
  • Focusing on quantity when doing acts of Ihsan can lead to burnout.

LINKS:

SURAH AL-MAIDAH [5:2]

SURAH MULK [67:2]

SURAH AL-BAQARAH [2:263]

 

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DEFINITION OF ISLAM: Rahma- dealing with people with more than just justice. 

REFERENCE: SURAH AL-ISRA/BANI-ISRAEL- THE NIGHT JOURNEY

When you do ihsan, you do it for yourself. We have the freedom of choice to choose our actions but we do not choose the consequences of our actions. 

Physical benefits of doing good to others: 

  • Causes longevity
  • Reduction of early death
  • Reduced incidence of brain decline

Mental and emotional benefits of doing good to others:

  • Helper’s high: Engaging in good deeds results in the brain releasing feel-good chemicals that are associated with happiness.
  • Brain chemicals are also released: oxytocin, dopamine, endorphins
  • Tend and mend response- we want to approach people and build relationships. 
  • Helps keep our problems in perspective. Having a larger purpose helps direct your attention and keep it in perspective.
  • Starts a virtuous cycle that cements relationships and strengthens families, communities. 
  • A kindness bank is created in our brains. Every time we think about those good actions we feel good. 
  • You win hearts when you do good deeds.
  • Must do it consistently in order to gain its benefits.

However, you must do the deed with the correct intention or it will not benefit you. Do it out of the goodness of your heart rather than to gain something in return. 

Certain etiquettes whilst doing ihsan: 

  • Underestimate and undervalue the good act. 
  • Do not make a person feel obligated towards you for helping them out.
  • Conceal the good deed from the rest of society.
  • Only reveal the good deed if it will encourage others to partake of the deed too.
  • Hastening the completion of the good deed. Don’t make people wait for your help once you have offered it. 
  • Forget about the deed once it is completed.

Narration of Imam Ali (AS): To be in this world is not good except for two types of people:

  1. Someone who is doing more good deeds and ihsan
  2. Someone who has done bad deeds and is trying to compensate by doing tawba. 

LINKS: 

  • Surah Al-Isra- The Night Journey- [17:7]
  • Tuhaf al Uqul no. 403

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TOPIC OF THE YEAR: The pursuit and practice of Ihsan

The primary purpose of these gatherings is to give our condolences to the household of the beloved Holy Prophet of Islam.  

BLESSINGS OF THESE MAJLIS:

  • It revives not only our deen but us too.
  • It helps us realign what really matters.
  • Commemorating the tragedy has kept our religion alive. 
  • It is only the Grace of God and this huge sacrifice by the most beloved of his creatures that has kept this deen alive till today. 
  • It allows us to get in touch with ourselves and remind ourselves of where we need help and transformation in our life. 

An important part of these days is to pass on the message of Kerbala to others.

Hadith by Imam Reza (AS): “By learning our knowledge and teaching it to people. If people knew the merits of our knowledge they would follow us.” 

Imam Hussain’s (AS) message: Living with the concept of ihsan- kindness, excellence, and virtue. 

COVID- Challenges and opportunities:

  • Safety and protection
  • Intention and action
  • Motivation to attend

The Holy Family as inspiration

Fatima Zahra (SA)

  • “Best of people on the earth in origin, dignity and honour.”
  • Pillar of Islam
  • An axis of intercession
  • Her children- Hasan, Hussain, Mohsin come from the same root word- h-s-n.
  • Hasan: one who is virtuous and does good. 
  • Hussain: derivative of Hasan. 

Basic foundations of morality and righteousness

  • Adl: Give people their due which has been asked of them. Imam Ali (AS) said that, “Adl is the foundation on which the world rests.”
  • Ihsan is going above and beyond justice and acting with nobility and kindness. Imam Ali (AS) says, “When you are focused on doing more than is required, that’s how people fall in love with you.” 

‘Hasana’ is a key root word of the Quran. 

  • It appears 194 times in the Quran.
  • It means inner beauty, living a life of virtue. 
  • Allah is the ultimate ‘mohsin’- one who does ihsan. 
  • When we do things that are hurtful to ourselves or others, He deals with us only that we deserve. But when we do good, he multiplies it. 

LINKS:

  1. H.A.R. GIBBS: A STUDY OF HISTORY (1963)

 

  • Fara'edoh-Samtayn vol.2 p.68
  • Beharul-Anwar, vol.43 pp.4-18
  • Beharul-Anwar, vol.8 p.51
  • Surah Al-Nahl [16:90]
  • Surah Qassas [28:77]
  • Surah An-Najm [53:31]

 

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If they are not controlled and hindered in their first steps, man will get alerted when the die is cast. Thus when the first temptations of spreading lewdness or any sin get manifest, they must be immediately withstood, so that defilement does not get prevalent.

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Divine grace and bless has sometime religious aspect, that has come forth through mission of prophets, revelation of heavenly books, legalization of ordinances, glad tidings and warnings.

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This Sura contains 64 verses and it has been sent down in Medina.

When a group of hypocrites, who were apparently Muslim, also wanted to use this event maliciously for causing Islamic society harm and for the sake of their own interest and weakening the common reputation of the Prophet (S), these verses were sent down and so this incident was dealt with in an unprecedented resoluteness. And so the insulting astray-goers and sinister hypocrites were firmly suppressed.

The holy Qur’an, without mentioning the main phenomenon in this verse, says:

“Verily those who brought forward the lie are a band of you...”

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This Sura contains 64 verses and it has been sent down in Medina. The reason why it has been named An-Nur (light), is its thirty fifth verse in which Allah has been introduced as: “the Light of the heavens and the earth”.  

VIRTUE OF SURA AN-NUR 

The Prophet (S) in a tradition has said:“Whoever reads Sura An-Nur (and applies it in his life), for each faithful woman and man who were in the past and will be in the future Allah will give him 10 good acts as reward.” 

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This Sura contains 64 verses and it has been sent down in Medina. The reason why it has been named An-Nur (light), is its thirty fifth verse in which Allah has been introduced as: “the Light of the heavens and the earth”.  

VIRTUE OF SURA AN-NUR 

The Prophet (S) in a tradition has said:“Whoever reads Sura An-Nur (and applies it in his life), for each faithful woman and man who were in the past and will be in the future Allah will give him 10 good acts as reward.” 

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We will all face challenges and adversity during our lives. In these sessions we explore perspectives from the Qur'an, the Ahlulbayt and psychology that help us face challenges, deal with adversity and bounce back after setbacks. We also explore some simple practices from Islamic spirituality and Western psychology for building resilience in our lives.

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We will all face challenges and adversity during our lives. In these sessions we explore perspectives from the Qur'an, the Ahlulbayt and psychology that help us face challenges, deal with adversity and bounce back after setbacks. We also explore some simple practices from Islamic spirituality and Western psychology for building resilience in our lives.

To access lots of free resources on relationships and personal growth, please sign up for #DailyWisdom at www.marziahassan.org/dailywisdom

 

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As Muslims, our ultimate source of guidance is the Qur’an.From amongst my favorite descriptions of the believers in the Qur’an are the consecutive verses which characterize the true slaves of Allah in Surah Al-Furqan. The true slaves of Allah  are those whom He loves, and no matter how challenging it may seem, we must endeavor to belong to this blessed category. This reminder is for myself first and foremost. May Allah  grant us the motivation and inspiration to consistently seek His pleasure.

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As Muslims, our ultimate source of guidance is the Qur’an.From amongst my favorite descriptions of the believers in the Qur’an are the consecutive verses which characterize the true slaves of Allahswt (1) in Surah Al-Furqan. The true slaves of Allah swt (1) are those whom He loves, and no matter how challenging it may seem, we must endeavor to belong to this blessed category. This reminder is for myself first and foremost. May Allah swt (1) grant us the motivation and inspiration to consistently seek His pleasure.

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This Sura contains seventy seven verses and it has been sent down in Mecca.In this session we will begin with verse 61 of this sura.

The Qur’anic word /tabaraka/ is used only in past tense and it is repeated thee times in this Surah1.

As it was said before, it is derived from whether the word ‘Baraka’ (stable and constant), or from the word ‘Barakat’ (abundant goodness).

This noble surah is in fact the answer of those who said what ‘the Beneficent’ is. Though they present this question mockingly, the Holy Qur’an answers them seriously.

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This Sura contains seventy seven verses and it has been sent down in Mecca.In this session we will begin with verse 45 of this sura.

Certainly, this section refers to the importance of the blessing of vast and moving shades. These shades do not stay still but they move.

In the first case, all creatures would be burnt and in the second case all creatures would be frozen. This alternative system of light and shade makes life pleasant and possible for man.

The Virtue of Reciting Al-Furqan

There is a tradition quoted from ‘Ishaq-ibn-‘Ammar from Hadrat ‘Abul-Hassan Musa-ibn-Ja’far who told him:

“Do not abandon reading Sura /tabaraka/ (Al-Furqan) since if any (believer) reads it every night, He will not punish him at all and He will not reckon him and his abode will be in the Exalted Firdaus (Paradise).”(Thawab-ul-’A‘mal, by Saduq, according to Nur-uth-Thaqalyn, Vol. 4, p. 2)

 

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This Sura contains seventy seven verses and it has been sent down in Mecca.In this session we will begin with verse 52 of this sura.

The best way of knowing Allah for all is to ponder the phenomena of existence, which are created according to divine wisdom. The rotation of the earth around itself and around the sun is not accidental. It is wisely and prudently.

Imam Baqir (as) said:

“The purpose of the extension of shadow in the verse is the shade that is between the dawn and rising of sun.”1

Although some count the shade as the shade of night or afternoon, but with regard to the next sentence which says:

“...then We have made the sun an indication of it”,

what Imam says is accepted.

 

The Virtue of Reciting Al-Furqan

There is a tradition quoted from ‘Ishaq-ibn-‘Ammar from Hadrat ‘Abul-Hassan Musa-ibn-Ja’far who told him:

“Do not abandon reading Sura /tabaraka/ (Al-Furqan) since if any (believer) reads it every night, He will not punish him at all and He will not reckon him and his abode will be in the Exalted Firdaus (Paradise).”(Thawab-ul-’A‘mal, by Saduq, according to Nur-uth-Thaqalyn, Vol. 4, p. 2)

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This Sura contains seventy seven verses and it has been sent down in Mecca.In this session we will begin with verse 30 of this sura.

These noble verses sympathizes on one hand with the Prophet (S) and the believers, and on the other hand it threats pretext-seeking polytheists the kind of whose words were somehow mentioned in the previous verses.

It also refers to the history of previous nations and their gloomy destiny and it specially puts emphasis on six nations (Pharaohs, Noah’s nation, the people of ‘Ad and Thamūd, the people of Lūt, and the people of the Ditch).

The Virtue of Reciting Al-Furqan

There is a tradition quoted from ‘Ishaq-ibn-‘Ammar from Hadrat ‘Abul-Hassan Musa-ibn-Ja’far who told him:

“Do not abandon reading Sura /tabaraka/ (Al-Furqan) since if any (believer) reads it every night, He will not punish him at all and He will not reckon him and his abode will be in the Exalted Firdaus (Paradise).”(Thawab-ul-’A‘mal, by Saduq, according to Nur-uth-Thaqalyn, Vol. 4, p. 2)

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This Sura contains seventy seven verses and it has been sent down in Mecca.In this session we will begin with verse 21 of this sura.

Undoubtedly the factors that form man’s personality are different including his will and decision, and most importantly his friend and companion, for man is desirably or undesirably impressionable. Most of his thoughts and moral attributes are formed through his friends. This fact has scientifically and experimentally been proved.

 

The Virtue of Reciting Al-Furqan

There is a tradition quoted from ‘Ishaq-ibn-‘Ammar from Hadrat ‘Abul-Hassan Musa-ibn-Ja’far who told him:

“Do not abandon reading Sura /tabaraka/ (Al-Furqan) since if any (believer) reads it every night, He will not punish him at all and He will not reckon him and his abode will be in the Exalted Firdaus (Paradise).”(Thawab-ul-’A‘mal, by Saduq, according to Nur-uth-Thaqalyn, Vol. 4, p. 2)

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